Oh, How the Mighty Have Fallen

"Far cry from running track, huh?" said my dad.

That was his response to my telling of the story of my first workout at the fitness center I joined. The workout that the trainer had to end because I started feeling woozy and went quickly to, "I'm feeling really faint."

That was me, that girl on the floor in the office with her feet up on a bucket. Sipping nasty fruit punch because their machine was out of juice. Those tears? Embarrassment. Disappointment in myself.

The trainer thanked me for not throwing up all over everything, including herself.

I told her, "Well, I had to save something for next time."


I told them that I am significantly out of shape: a fact that my fitness evaluation and subsequent workout proved.

But, I don't have to stay out of shape. I don't have to remain that girl on the floor with her feet on a bucket.

Who likes fruit punch? Seriously.

Criminal Minds

We had an evacuation drill (?) at our building today. I was discussing it with The Princess and explained why you never take an elevator during an evacuation. If it's a fire, you could get stuck and die of smoke inhalation. If it's an evacuation due to someone shooting, well, they could be at the doors waiting for them to open and they could open fire on you.

Now, if you take the stairs, the criminal could be there at the bottom waiting to open fire, mind you.

The Princess didn't think so, "'Cause criminals aren't the smartest people."

"Not necessarily true, Princess" the Faithful Alligator countered.

"Yeah, 'cause if I were a criminal, I'd study" was her reply.


Not what a mother longs to hear.

December, then

So, it's the first of December.

In a blink, a second, I turn around and the year is nearly over.  The last month.

No one knows how to make time stop, how to slow the determined march of days and months and years.

What I know is this:  my daughters are growing up and no matter how many pictures I take or conversations I record, it's all slipping away too fast.

American Gothic

The Princess and The Dictator interpret a classic.

The Play's the Thing

Husband and I took the girls to their first touring production of a Broadway play yesterday.

Wicked.

Very much enjoyed it. I remember going to see a production of "Annie" at Heinz Hall in Pittsburgh when I was 9 years old. The excitement of being dressed up and seeing a show. The frustration of my Girl Scout leader because I left my purse at the seat and had to go back up into the theater to find it.

I could have cried with joy at taking my daughters to a show -- another looping of the cycle of life, having the girls there and my being the grown up.

I had my moment of frustration before the show started -- when The Princess was telling me what I am not allowed to do and I snapped at her. I wasn't feeling well at all yesterday and was so worried that I wouldn't be able to make it to or through the show. That was not the time for her to tell me I was not allowed to take another picture with my cell phone. The next few years are going to be tough going, with this willful daughter who knows how to push my buttons.

But looking over during the show, I saw smiles and wonder and excitement. (And I did apologize to her for the way I spoke to her, as much as I also told her how it's not acceptable for her to tell her mother what to do.)

The Dictator, ever the anesthetic, always knows when to turn up the sweetness to counteract the crabby Princess. She enjoyed herself, too.

Oh, these girls. The drama! Just like a play.

Entertainment

"Tired of winding yourself up every morning? Depression hurts. Cymbalta can help." said The Princess, at the dinner table last night.

"Talk to your doctor to see if Cymbalta is right for you." replied The Dictator.

Husband and I agreed on several points:

1. The girls have been watching too much TLC and Lifetime.

2. We are both extremely relieved that The Dictator's medical disclaimer did not include the text, "If you experience an erection lasting more than 4 hours, seek immediate medical assistance."

3. We are ever so glad that we're taking the girls to a touring production of a Broadway musical this afternoon. They need some new material!

Out into the Madness

It's 5:26 a.m. and both The Dictator and The Princess are up and waiting for me to finish my coffee.

We're going out into the shopping madness.

But only to get $7 snow boots. And laugh at the madness.